What’s going to be so new about this New Year? Nothing, really. We will all start out with our resolutions, expectations, and visions, and they will all eventually fall one by one behind the march of reality. So what? I don’t say this as a warning or admonition. I say it as an observation. The problem is we make our heartfelt resolutions with only that: our hearts. Sincere and important as they may be, the reason they often fail is because we still employ the same way of seeing the world in our minds. Pure desire is not nearly enough to overcome entrenched mindsets.
What I found most interesting about this particular year we are closing down was the odd confluence of ideas, hopes, stories, emotions, ambitions, intentions, and strategies that flowed through it. Never before have I seen such resolve in so many people who were able to look me (or the camera or the audience) directly in the eye and convey unequivocally: “I. Am. Correct. Full stop. No doubt. Take it to the bank and cash it in–now.” Wow. Talk about entrenchment.
This year forget the goal of trying to change a behavior or achieve a goal using simply sheer willpower or feeling. Instead, do something for your mind. Do something that may help you crawl just a tiny bit out of some mental trench you may be in. Find yourself a brand new thought. Have a Happy New “?”
(My thanks to the artist with no name who first rocked in the early 80’s with a name then adopted a squiggly thing-y to foil his record label and forced us to refer to him as a symbol which made us think ‘yeah, maybe sometimes a symbol really is the best label for a given item.’)
Sounds simple and quaint, even, doesn’t it? Please reconsider. Finding a new “?”, or a new thought may fundamentally change you, which is an event that is neither simple nor quaint.
We have all probably already experienced this phenomenon in our lives with several appreciable ideas. (This is not counting the thousands of times we have been wrong or uninformed about relatively inconsequential things.) Let me illustrate one of my experiences. The only caveat is that you don’t laugh–I can hear you over the internet, you know!–for this was rather significant to me:
While living in Hong Kong, I took an introductory class on Chinese medicine. It was just an overview, and covered the basics of chi, the 5 elements, and acupressure techniques and points. I loved it. We studied the acupressure pathways, practiced locating the points, and I thoroughly enjoyed all aspects of the class. We learned that when it comes to the movement of chi energy along the spine, there is only one direction it can travel, otherwise it will create blockages (and thus various aches). Acupressure assists the flow of this energy, relieving pains and increasing the feeling of well being. Energy travels linearly along the spine, vertebrae by vertebrae, and along the sides, dual pressure points parallel to each vertebrae. I absorbed this knowledge because I’d been so entirely fascinated by the class. I’d paid close attention. I cared intensely about the subject.
I got plenty of opportunity over the years to use my acupressure skills. I often referred back to the teacher’s guidelines, my own notes, and other acupressure resources. Anyone in the family with a sinus headache? I could relinquish it with a 10 minute series of sino-cranial pressure point sequences. Back or general tension problems? The shoulder, scapula, spinal and lower back sequences would have them floating on air. One of my sons particularly liked this back ‘massage’, and it was a fun way to spend time and really connect with him.
I was powerful. My knowledge and skills were revered and adored. I was Medicine Woman.
One day, 10 years later, while reviewing the information for a one hour ‘class’ for my son’s middle school parent day, I was doing some preparation research and discovered I was completely wrong about the direction of energy flow along the spine! It always flows UP the spine (think good energy flow to the brain) and DOWN the parallel sides. Somewhere along the way I’d started doing the opposite. (You may think this sounds unimportant, but the spine/brain energy flow is the most critical in the body and I’ll bet any Chinese person reading this right now is screaming “DUH!” at his/her computer screen.) I was utterly, perfectly, and incontrovertibly wrong.
You might think the discovery of such a huge mistake would elicit some negative emotion: denial, anger, disbelief, embarrassment. Actually, what it elicited was amazement. How could I have been so utterly sure of something that was a complete antithesis of reality? It was a small kernel of knowledge, but I’d been so conscientious in it’s attainment and so emotionally invested in its value! I had cared deeply about it. It was information completely entrenched and guarded in my mind.
Turns out all the caring, trying, loving, entrenching and guarding I put forth for this thought did not make it true. My willpower and emotion had nothing to do with the thought’s lack of veracity. As a matter of fact, willpower and emotion only served to delay my rediscovery of the real truth for years. There have been other substantial things I’ve been acutely wrong about (and there are yet many more gems of knowledge out there to discover), but this one struck me hard for the full 180 degree polar opposite direction from reality my assuredness had possessed. It was weird…it was shocking…it was…it was…fan-flipping-tastic.
It changed me because it changed my mindset.
How many times do you get to find out you were PERFECTLY wrong about something you have ‘known’ for years? (Usually we are wrong by degrees, not entireties. In a bizarre way, I was almost proud of how perfect I’d been.) How many times does something seize you and upheave you from the trench of a mindset that’s leading you in the wrong direction? Not many. It made me realize the strength and depth of my mindset: it was extreme.
OK, now we circle ’round to you, my friend. I am already on the lookout for things I am getting unequivocally–and even slightly–wrong, because I don’t want to stew around in some slowly suffocating, go-nowhere mindset. How about you? What mindset are you stuck in where you could perchance discover something pointing to the contrary? What mindset do you spend valuable energy nurturing that may possibly be taking you in the wrong direction?
I hope everyone reading here is lucky enough to experience this wonderful phenomenon sometime this new year. I hope you discover something you never expected and it changes you in a positive and surprising way. I hope you get to peek out of one of your trenches.
You just may spot me peeking right back at you from one of my own.
Happy New “?”, Everyone!
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